Seeking Solace (part 3)

I was faithful even when I said, “I suffered terribly;”

I said in my panic, “All people are unreliable!”

 (Psalms 116:10-11)

Yasmina:

Although the second part of the Psalmist’s statement sounds negative, I can read a more positive meaning; one that is deeper and parallel to my own belief.  He is saying that no “good” would come out of any human if it were not for the grace and mercy of God, and it is this trust in God that brought back his faith in others eventually. Personally, I take comfort in the words “for God is with those who patiently persevere,” which are repeated several times in the Quran. This notion is echoed in many of the sayings of the Prophet [Peace and Blessings be upon him], including “acknowledge God in ease and He will acknowledge you in distress.”  [Imam an-Nawawi’s 40 Hadith, Chapter 1, No. 19]

What do you think about these words of the Psalmist? 

This reflection was written in response to Tziporah's original post in September 2011. You may also want to read Grace's response.

Seeking Solace (part 2)

I was faithful even when I said, “I suffered terribly;”

I said in my panic, “All people are unreliable!”

 (Psalms 116:10-11)

Grace:

I too am struck by the suffering Psalmist’s human declaration of faith undercut immediately by blame. For the cry of why is inevitable, the search for someone or something to blame natural, and the fear of God’s abandonment keen. From my Christian faith, I take comfort in observing that Jesus too, in his loneliest and most bitter hour, echoed another Psalm as he cried in anguish, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Psalms 22:1) That moment of human agony, transformed by a divine spirit of compassion and forgiveness, shows me the redemptive power of love. I can affirm that the grace of God, often working in and through the caring of others, enables us to endure and, if we are willing, to grow spiritually through suffering; to find, even amid suffering, a “peace that passes understanding.” (Philippians 4:7)

This reflection was originally posted in September 2011 as a response to Tziporah's post. What texts do you turn to when seeking solace? 

Seeking Solace

I was faithful even when I said, “I suffered terribly;”

I said in my panic, “All people are unreliable!”

 (Psalms 116:10-11)

Tziporah:

I am struck by the unflinching honesty of the Psalmist, who readily admits to human frailty in suffering.  Often, when we are distracted by pain, we allow its attendant anger to overtake us, and we blurt out terrible things about each other which we later regret. We seek relief in blaming someone else for our situation.  Sometimes we accuse each other; other times we denounce God.  This verse begins with a declaration of faith—I believed in God despite my suffering—and concludes with an admission of loss of faith.  The Psalmist reflects on a previous experience of suffering, when pain caused him to lose faith in humanity. Yet he maintained an unshakable faith in God.  I find solace in repeating this verse as a mantra; I feel my pain begin to dissipate.  I am confident that when I look back on this difficult time, my faith in God and others will have endured. 

This reflection was originally posted in September 2011. Rereading it nearly 2 years later, I find that my faith in God and others has endured and that the words of the Psalmist still speak to me, Tziporah

Forgiveness

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seven times seven."  (The Gospel of Matthew 18:21-22)

Grace:
Accustomed to the “three strikes and you’re out” rule, most of us imagine forgiveness in conditional terms.  How can an Amish community, grieving the savage killing of five innocent children, forgive the perpetrator and then offer support to the shooter’s family?[1] How can a Holocaust survivor live with memories of a Nazi officer leading his parents and siblings to death in a gas chamber?[2]  How does a doctor in Gaza forgive the soldiers in tanks who decimated his home and claimed the lives of three of his five children?[3]  How can any of us forgive those who intentionally inflict harm and justify evil deeds with talk of righteousness? I think forgiving “seven times seven” calls us not to deny evil, but repeatedly to face darkness with light. Doing so requires deep faith and real courage." Yet I believe that in going through the painful and anguished process of forgiving others, we ourselves are transformed.

Yasmina:

Grace, I know this is not a mere coincidence. I attended a youth discussion this morning with my children at their first day of Sunday School and the topic happened to be forgiveness. I wish I could share in this forum the hour’s worth of sharp arguments and conversations. It was clear that forgiveness is complex, and part of the noble behavior that a Muslim strives to attain. The Quran and the Sunnah offer depictions of the virtues underlying it: determination, grace, patience, self-control and a strong desire to “do good.” Forgiveness is also described as having tangible, positive consequences; some are enjoyed in this world, such as turning adversaries into friends, and others are granted in the hereafter. Reflecting on the power of forgiveness is inspiring, and knowing that the All-Forgiving is willing to forgive us over and over again is deeply humbling. One of my favorite reminders of this is the verse, “…and let them pardon and overlook, would you not like that God should forgive you?” (al-Nur 24:22)

Tziporah:

Grace, this is also a timely topic for me, since Jews are currently in the period of what we call the Yamim Noraim, Days of Awe, a time for repentance and forgiveness.  The text from Matthew and your reflection made me think of Maimonides, who cautions: “It is forbidden for a person to be cruel and refuse to be appeased. Rather, he should be easily pacified, but hard to anger. When the person who wronged him asks for forgiveness, he should forgive him with a complete heart and a willing spirit. Even if he aggravated and wronged him severely, he should not seek revenge or bear a grudge.”[4]  Maimonides’ code is sensitive to the realities of interpersonal relations: it can be quite difficult to forgive another who has hurt you deeply, and some actions seem entirely unforgiveable. At the same time, refusing to forgive another is inevitably more hurtful to the person who bears the grudge.  I am also reminded of Pharaoh’s hardened heart and the terrible pain he ultimately endures because of his own cruelty.

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[1] Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy, Donald Kraybill, et al.

[2] See the memoir of Holocaust survivor Benjamin Hirsch and Elie Wiesel’s The Fifth Son.

[3] I Shall Not Hate: A Gaza Doctor's Journey on the Road to Peace and Human Dignity, by Izzeldin Abuelaish.

[4] Mishneh Torah, Laws of Repentance 2, 10. There is an excellent online resource of Maimonides’ works in English translation at Chabad’s website.

An Unpardonable Sin

And so I tell you, every kind of sin and slander can be forgiven, but blasphemy against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven…either in this age or in the age to come. (Matthew 12:31-32)

Grace:
I smile as I recall my adolescent self reading this verse out of context and wondering if a particularly naughty curse, which I equated with blasphemy, might damn me or one of my friends for all eternity! Now understanding blasphemy as an adult, I have a deeper appreciation of Jesus’ words as Matthew quotes them: blasphemy is not a single sin but a characteristic of one who calls good “evil” and evil “good.” In defending himself and others against the criticism of detractors, Jesus emphasized that “a house divided against itself cannot stand;” nor can anyone who does the will of God be demonized as an agent of evil. (verse 26) No single instance of slander or blasphemy, then, is too great to be forgiven by a loving God. Only one’s continual rejection of godly love can “blaspheme against the Holy Spirit” by closing, on the receiver’s end, the circuit of repentance that God always seeks to complete. What do your faith traditions teach about blasphemy or about unpardonable sins?

Tziporah:
There are two kinds of sins in Judaism, which mirror the two categories of mitzvot (commandments): sins against God and sins against fellow human beings. It would be natural to assume that, of the two, sins against God are more severe. For example, the Torah prescribes capital punishment for the sin of idolatry, which is viewed as treason against the King of kings. Blasphemy, however, is a sin of words and only considered a high crime if one blasphemes with the express purpose of leading others astray. Generally, actions against God and other people are punishable, while sins committed in one's heart or with one's words are left to God's judgment. The mechanism for seeking forgiveness for sins against God is the observance of fasting, prayer and repentance, especially on (but not limited to) Yom Kippur. We believe that a person who is truly repentant--who when faced with the temptation to commit a previous sin overcomes it--is forgiven by God.

Yasmina:
Muslims believe that God is limitlessly Merciful, Forgiving and Clement, and for this reason He will repeatedly forgive the one who sincerely repents. However, on the Day of Judgment, the only sin that is not forgiven is associating other gods with God. The Quran says: "God forgiveth not [the sin of] joining other gods with Him; but He forgiveth whom He pleaseth other sins than this." (al-Nisa, 4:116) As for blasphemy--and I believe this is the case with any religion--there is a wide spectrum of offenses. Muslim law, like Jewish law, makes a distinction between one who blasphemes in private and one who blasphemes publicly--who has the intentional desire to propagate false information and sway others into believing inaccurate concepts about the religion. In the first case, the individual must ask forgiveness, and he or she is not subject to any punishment. In the latter case, the punishments differ based on the situation and are only applicable in an Islamic State.

Forgiveness

“Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”  (The Gospel of Luke 23:34)

Grace:

In “The Lord’s Prayer,” Christians beseech God daily to “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  How difficult, for any human being, is the second part of this petition, especially when the trespass is betrayal, when hurt turns so naturally into anger and perhaps even desire for revenge.  On Good Friday of this Holy Week in Christianity, I will be compelled to gaze upon the Mystery of humility in the face of humiliation and the redemptive Grace of sacrificial love. Many Christians will speak of “Atonement” in the sacrifice of Jesus’ life for love of all humanity; I will meditate on the “at ONE ment” that I believe happens when persons of all faiths humble themselves before God in the midst of heinous crimes, horrid persecutions, and hideous curses, to pray through the heartbreaking agony that only God’s love can heal: “Father, forgive.”

Tziporah:

Before I read your reflection, Grace, my mind wandered from the verse in Luke to events unfolding around the country.  The words, “for they know not what they do,” while spoken genuinely and recorded in this passage, can seem like an attempt to excuse the many wrongs we commit.  Claiming the consequences of our behavior to be unintended, we humans hurt each other in unforgiveable ways.  I think that one reason human beings struggle with forgiveness is that we often hurt each other wittingly and willfully.  While God’s forgiveness extends to our unintentional sins—because only God knows what true repentance lies within our hearts—our intentional trespasses against one another must be acknowledged, and we must reconcile with each other before we can find forgiveness.  In Jewish tradition, we pray for God’s forgiveness on Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, when we are “at one” with God.  But we are only able to atone if we are already at one with each other.

Yasmina:

Like Christians, Muslims seek God’s forgiveness for their faults and weaknesses every day, during and after prayer, and strive to reach a complete state of purification during the month of Ramadan and the period of the Hajj. A Muslim also seeks to emulate the example of the Prophet Muhammad [Peace and Blessings be upon Him], who embodied the teachings of the Quran. In the following verses, the Quran describes forgiveness as an honorable response to hurtful actions, while allowing for the uniqueness of people and recognizing that not every individual is actually capable of reaching this status:

“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend. But none is granted it except those who are patient, and none is granted it except one having a great portion [of good]. And if there comes to you from Satan an evil suggestion, then seek refuge in God. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing.”(al Fussilat 41:34-36)

To me, although adopting this attitude of forgiveness can be challenging, it helps me focus on overcoming tests as a way of purifying my own heart and soul.

After the Anger, Regret

“Some time afterward, when the anger of King Ahashverosh subsided, he thought of Vashti and what she had done and what had been decreed against her.”

(Esther 2:1)

Tziporah:

Every year as I prepare for the holiday of Purim and the public reading of the Book of Esther, I am struck by the opening lines of the second chapter. In a fit of rage—because the queen would not appear when summoned—the king issues an edict to remove her permanently from the palace. The next morning, the king is feeling sobered and bereft at the queen’s expulsion. The remainder of the story provides lessons about courage, personal integrity and individual responsibility to one’s community, but I find the most important lesson in the first three words of this verse: a person who acts impulsively, out of anger, comes to regret his behavior “some time afterward.” The damage we cause through our irrationality and inability to control our impulses cannot always be undone.  For this reason, the rabbis suggested that an ideal disposition is “difficult to anger and easy to calm.” (Mishnah Avot 5:11)

Yasmina:

Tziporah, I could not agree with you more. I have personally fallen into the trap of spontaneous anger numerous times and regretted my feelings shortly after. As you might imagine, there are many Hadiths that provide practical advice about how to deal with and control anger. They all exalt the virtues of patience, kindness, and forgiveness.  One in particular is identical to your quote from the Mishnah; another notes that a burst of anger can negate the positive effects of a person’s fast.  I find the strongest encouragement to those who practice restraint of their anger in the following verse: “Be quick in the race for forgiveness from your Lord and for a Garden whose width is that of the heavens and of the earth, prepared for the righteous, those who spend freely whether in prosperity or in adversity; who restrain anger and pardon all men; for God loves those who do good.” (Al-i-Imram 3:133-134)

Grace:

I must echo what both of you say about anger and the need for self-control.  A passage in Christian scripture that I find instructive is “Be angry, but do not sin: let not the sun go down on your wrath.” (Ephesians 4:26) This verse seems to acknowledge that anger as an emotion alone is not sinful, but that rash actions stemming from anger can be sinful indeed.  The quotation continues with the admonition to put away all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking, and “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake has forgiven you.” (Eph 4: 32)  As is true of so many dictums in each of the holy texts we are citing, these words are much easier to say than to practice!

Your Comment Awaits Moderation

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "How to Join the Conversation."

Anonymous:

Christians are taught to "go make disciples” or “followers of Jesus." They want to get in that "jab" to make a point. I was raised around them all my life and that is what they are taught to do. Their way is the ONLY way just like most fanatics- and you will be damned to hell if you don't believe like them. When I became Jewish I felt like such a "load" was lifted off of me with all that condemnation crap….

Tziporah:

Although this comment from Anonymous was not left at the bottom of the post, I believe it is a response to my description of a pastor’s prayer at an interfaith luncheon, in which I wrote: “I don’t think that he intended to exclude anyone from his prayers—he must have been unaware of the presence of those who do not accept Jesus’ divinity….”  How do you want to respond to Anonymous?

Grace:

I ache for those who, like Anonymous, have had a terrible experience in the name of any religion, most especially the Christian faith I profess. Ironically, the “Christians” described by Anonymous failed to be Christ-like. My hope and prayer for you, Anonymous, is that you will find true shalom in your new faith and that, over time, you will be able to forgive those who clearly wronged you.  I pray, too, that those who offended in the name of Christianity will come to understand and live the commandments that Jesus said summed up all religious teaching: Love God with all your heart, mind, and soul, and your neighbor as yourself.

Yasmina:

Unfortunately, there are individuals or groups in every tradition who are capable of scaring away followers of their faith. Sadly enough, it only takes one person to misrepresent a religion and send the wrong message. The better way for anyone to express their love for God is by having a beautiful character towards all people. I find this notion touchingly expressed in the Quran. Addressing the prophet Muhammad [Peace and Blessings be upon him], God says: “So by mercy from God, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude in speech and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon God. Indeed, God loves those who rely upon Him.” (3:159)

Tziporah:

At first, as you both know, I was not inclined to approve this comment, because our mission is to publish productive, interfaith conversations in cyberspace and to avoid augmenting the hostility already residing there.  That is precisely why we agreed that all comments would be moderated.  Yet you convinced me to allow Anonymous to have a voice in our conversation and you inspired me to join you in responding to this reader’s concerns. I encourage Anonymous and all readers to engage in dialogue—not diatribe—in this space.  We do not shy away from difficult conversations here, but we insist that participants in our conversation maintain a respectful tone.  Please write your comments in the first-person singular, from a position of openness and desire to learn.  Strive to approach the texts with curiosity and to question one another without judging. As the great 1^st century sage Hillel taught: “Do not judge your friends until you are in their place.” (Mishnah Avot 2:4)

Seeking Solace

I was faithful even when I said, “I suffered terribly;”

I said in my panic, “All people are unreliable!”

 (Psalms 116:10-11)

Tziporah:

I am struck by the unflinching honesty of the Psalmist, who readily admits to human frailty in suffering.  Often, when we are distracted by pain, we allow its attendant anger to overtake us, and we blurt out terrible things about each other which we later regret. We seek relief in blaming someone else for our situation.  Sometimes we accuse each other; other times we denounce God.  This verse begins with a declaration of faith—I believed in God despite my suffering—and concludes with an admission of loss of faith.  The Psalmist reflects on a previous experience of suffering, when pain caused him to lose faith in humanity. Yet he maintained an unshakable faith in God.  I find solace in repeating this verse as a mantra; I feel my pain begin to dissipate.  I am confident that when I look back on this difficult time, my faith in God and others will have endured.

Grace:

I too am struck by the suffering Psalmist’s human declaration of faith undercut immediately by blame. For the cry of why is inevitable, the search for someone or something to blame natural, and the fear of God’s abandonment keen. From my Christian faith, I take comfort in observing that Jesus too, in his loneliest and most bitter hour, echoed another Psalm as he cried in anguish, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”[1] That moment of human agony, transformed by a divine spirit of compassion and forgiveness, shows me the redemptive power of love. I can affirm that the grace of God, often working in and through the caring of others, enables us to endure and, if we are willing, to grow spiritually through suffering; to find, even amid suffering, a “peace that passes understanding.”[2]

Yasmina:

Although the second part of the Psalmist’s statement sounds negative, I can read a more positive meaning; one that is deeper and parallel to my own belief.  He is saying that no “good” would come out of any human if it were not for the grace and mercy of God, and it is this trust in God that brought back his faith in others eventually. Personally, I take comfort in the words “for God is with those who patiently persevere,” which are repeated several times in the Quran. This notion is echoed in many of the sayings of the Prophet [Peace and Blessings be upon him], including “acknowledge God in ease and He will acknowledge you in distress.”[3]

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[1] Psalms 22:1

[2] Philippians 4:7

[3] Imam an-Nawawi’s 40 Hadith, Chapter 1, No. 19